This morning I promised my diary a good entry to make up for the reticence of the past few weeks…Today provided more than enough material. Boardwalks, true facts about plants, haw par villa scares, playground pyramids, flying foxes and obstacle courses, impulsive unauthorized wading in salty waters by far off yachts…and above all, good conversations and silences with good company.
Thank you Charis and Mariel for bringing to us The Walk!
- Moment of Happiness (Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project)
My students have revived something in me. Their affection has thawed this cold block of fear and insecurity I carried in me when we just started. Yes, I could do with a break from all the paperwork, but I will miss being ‘on air’ with the kids during Literature - talking about life, aging, nostalgia, dreams, aloneness, togetherness, the weather personified, trapped animals etc. in class and hearing all these fragments of their lives that they so boldly share with everyone. (Were we like that?) I’ve been charmed and haunted by things they’ve written, I’ve relived a whole new wave of nostalgia just from reading their wistful accounts of growing up and childhood games long gone.
I see in each of them individual lives and passions, talents surpassing what we had when in their shoes. Yes, it’s really true that I’d not have had a cat in hell’s chance of getting into SOTA considering the strength of their portfolios now. I marvel at how fast and furiously they’re moving; please, please enjoy the ride, though.
AND, that they trusted in me, a 19-year-old year 6 graduate just fresh from the chopping block to guide them is in itself such a source of relief. A relieved teacher, I truly am, now. Hahhh..
I told them about New York and they’re all excited and sad about somewhat being left behind. I don’t know how to convey this thought; that they’re living up a miracle of an experience now, and when they’re where I am at this point the world would have changed, a whole new tapestry of possibilities would have unfolded at their feet. Only after a few more unforgettable years of ebbingflowingcrashingsoaringsinkinggliding will the possibilities present themselves; only then would the next hurdle be worth it. I can’t imagine what form it will take, though. Things do change in the instant.
Nevertheless, something about this experience of moving away from home will remain forever the same.
An excerpt from one of the letters I received from my students:
"I’m so excited for you! Starting a new life, breathing in new air, having everything so clear yet unclear at the same time and just loving life all over again."